


to the moon and back

by puzzle_shipper



Category: Naruto
Genre: (Madara outsourced 1 (one) of his problems), Action/Adventure, Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It of Sorts, Fixing things - Madara style, Hijinks & Shenanigans, I put as many moon puns as I could, Inuzuka OC and her dog, Izuna laughing in the afterlife, Kagami is politely confused, M/M, Madara is excellent at emotions, This is actually an improvement, Time Travel, Tobirama says Madara did weird shit before too, humor (or attempts anyway), spot all the digs at canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-14 04:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20594807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puzzle_shipper/pseuds/puzzle_shipper
Summary: There is no actual moon travel but there are errands some strong threats towards the moon on Madara’s part. And a shit ton of puns that Tobirama is startlingly getting used to, even if they are annoying. Oh and there’s the whole ‘kidnapped him while he was fighting the gold and silver brothers from Kumo’. You know, nothing big.





	to the moon and back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PandaFlower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandaFlower/gifts).

> Happy (Belated) Birthday, My Darling! 
> 
> This fic was started for Madatobi week 2018 but life got in the way, and Madara had more things to say, so here we are.  
For Madatobi week 2019  
Day 6 Time or dimension travel.
> 
> Special thanks to everyone in the bun lawn discord for all the enthusiasm!
> 
> Enjoy!

Madara dusted himself off as he looked at his surroundings. The countryside around him didn’t look like it had met him yet, so that was probably a good thing. He mentally checked step 1 off his list. Now, to step 2, which was to…

He jerked to the side, chakra senses going wild... Was that, oh it definitely was. What the hell was that damn Senju doing fuck knows where and so dangerously low on chakra. That would not do.

Sharingan active and gunbai flying, he jumped into action just in time. A kick to the face stopped the Kumo shinobi from delivering a blow to Tobirama’s unprotected back. A large katon put the closest ones on the defense, while the others sent lightning blasts at both of them.

Susano’o, half formed but no less strong, towered over the Kumo squad.

One of the ghostly chakra hands wrapped protectively around Tobirama, much to his alarm. He knew he would die today. However, Uchiha Madara just barging in the battle, was not something one usually accounted for. Especially considering the fact that the other was supposed to be very dead. Like, buried him with my own arms, dead. Yet he was shielding Tobirama from his assailants. For now. Tobirama spared a brief second to curse how low his chakra was.

The shinobi closest were sent flying with a slash of Madara’s scythe. And Susano’o’s sword ensured that most would not get up again. The rest split up – wary, calculating, angry. Their target was now right in the middle of this construct, half hidden by the apparent ribcage. They alternated their attacks, looking for an opening which they weren’t going to find. Susano’o’s armor was impossible to break.

“Uchiha Madara. Weren’t you dead?” taunted Kinkaku of the Gold and Silver brothers.

“No.” Madara said flatly.

“Great. We can kill you ourselves!” Ginkaku gave him a feral grin.

“As if.” Madara’s response was even more flat. As emphasis he used Amateratsu on those unfortunate enough to be nearby. Which was… pretty much everyone besidesthe two annoyances daring to speak to him.

“Are you trying to steal our kill?” Kinkaku asked in a mock surprised tone.

“None of your damn business.” Madara cut him off with a katon.

“Are you stealing our kill for yourself? How dare you!” Ginkaku accused in the same tone.

“Mind your own damn business.” Madara snarled, ignoring the fact that killing Tobirama was apparently their business at the moment.

Well, Madara risked a glance behind him, Tobirama was still within the protective barrier of the Susano’o. He was standing, sword raised in defense position, grip tight and knuckles white, one of his legs bent not entirely alright. Barely on his feet. Sheer force of will, and really, Madara wouldn’t put it past the bastard. They were alike like that.

“He’s our damn business.” Pointed out Kinkaku.

“Not anymore. Mine now. Find someone else to fight.” Madara scoffed at them.

“But what if we want to fight him?” Ginkaku frowned.

“Yeah, second time’s the charm, you know!” Kinkaku joined in.

“Oh, well. In that case…” he pretended to think about it. “Fuck no.” Madara snarled. “Go fight that damnable leech Zetsu or something. Maybe you’ll even manage to wound him, before he turns you into smears.” He added viciously.

Tobirama had absolutely no idea who this ‘Zetsu’ was, but apparently Madara loathed them. There was venom in his voice, quite similar to the one the Uchiha directed at him. Perhaps, perhaps even stronger than before.

“And who’s that?” Kinkaku narrowed his eyes.

“And are they stronger than him?” Ginkaku pointed the Shichiseiken, one of the five Treasured Tools of the Sage of Six Paths, at Tobirama. Coincidently, one that Madara really hoped they’d use on Zetsu.

Madara raised an unimpressed eyebrow at them, then looked back at Tobirama, who had now backed away as far as the Susano’o shield allowed, holding one of his many wounds.

Madara gave the brothers a deranged grin and laughed.

“Who, Zetsu? That damnable pain in the ass? That scheming, slippery waste of space?” He jerked a thumb at Tobirama. “You think he’s a slippery little shit? Ha! Zetsu can out slipper him any day. He’s been around since the time of the Sage, you know.” He added with a dark scowl.

They didn’t but boy, did that catch their interest.

“If power is what you’re looking for. That’s the one you should go after.” He smoothly pressed his advantage. “Maybe you’ll even survive fighting him.” He added condescendingly.

Hook. Line. And sinker.

Two-no, three birds with one stone if this all worked out.

Ninety-six problems left.

* * *

Tobirama’s back hit the wall of his ghostly cage, sword clattering to the ground. He was distantly aware that he should be listening to the directions Madara was giving the Gold and Silver brothers. But he was more aware that very soon it would not be his problem. His vision blurred and he clutched at a different wound in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding. He wished they would just hurry up before he died from blood loss.

“-ever, find me if you kill him.” Madara called to the retreating Gold and Silver brothers.

“When, when we kill him. Then it’s your turn, and the Nidaime’s there.” The brothers cackled as they disappeared quickly north.

“Good fucking riddance.” Madara muttered when they were no longer in sight. What did he care for their threats? He could do worse.

Had done worse.

A small, deranged grin graced his face when he was sure they were really gone. It quickly widened and he turned to Tobirama.

"Now, what to do with you." He murmured, taking a step forward, mad grin still in place.

Scratch that, dying from blood loss or literally anything else was a much, much better idea.

Tobirama's eyes widened and he fell backwards, as Susano'o disappeared. Pain danced like lightning on his body. He hissed and clutched at a wound, any of the numerous, at his side. His sword was just out of reach, so he reached for one stuck in him. Madara's chakra (and attention) coiled around him, strong and suffocating.

"What the f-" Madara's eyes widened in alarm and in a flash he was at Tobirama's side. "No you moron!" He yelled angrily, pinning his wrists together with ease to prevent him from doing more stupid shit.

"I choose my own way to die!" Tobirama spat as he struggled weakly, blood loss slowing his limbs.

While resigned to it, he really preferred not to die. Especially not at the hands of Madara Uchiha.

"Yeah, well, you can do that later. I need you alive now." Madara scowled focusing his chakra. "Stop struggling, damn it! I need to stop the bleeding."

Tobirama went limp in Madara's grip, the force of his agitated chakra overwhelming his senses. The last thing he heard was Madara profusely swearing.

"If it weren’t for your coloring, one would think you were an Uchiha" Madara told him grudgingly, as he worked quickly, medical chakra coating his palms.

Various sustained injuries were treated as much as possible and Madara was very glad he took the time to learn healing jutsu after getting his ass kicked enough times. He grumbled and bitched at the unconscious Senju, when his concentration allowed it.

* * *

With a pained gasp Tobirama woke. There was an all too familiar chakra in his pathways... healing him… What...was going on?

“Oh good, you’re still alive. Give me a hand here and keep clinging to life.” Madara’s red eyes flickered to him for a second.

“Wh-“ Tobirama coughed something that was maybe ‘Why should I?’ Madara figured it out anyway.

“You love the village right? Possibly more than Hashirama, definitely more than me at the time.” He said quickly. “So hold on tightly. You have a bigger war to win and the village needs its strong Hokage, and not the brat you left in charge.” Madara spoke vehemently.

Tobirama’s argument that Hiruzen would make a fine Hokage was lost under a new wave of exhaustion that was too strong to resist. Quiet, treacherous thoughts whispered how tired he was, how he was ready to just die. Surely…

Yet he couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Not if his village needed him. So with all the stubbornness he could grasp, he clung.

What was another war for someone like him.

Distantly, Madara was bitching about something.

Madara huffed. The Senju always liked making things complicated. He ignored that the same could be said for him. Getting him in a stable condition when he looked like a sieve wasn’t an easy task but Madara had experience, determination and pure spite on his side. Spite always got him through things. Tobirama would live. Madara wasn’t above just resurrecting him if he didn’t. It would be a bit overkill but he was certain he could pull it off. Get rid of more annoyances in the process even.

After all. He would need a hand to unfuck this entire mess, and, he was sure Tobirama would like the plan forming in his head.

Madara grumbled about the audacity of Tobirama being taller than him, as he slung him over his shoulder and after brief deliberation set off south.

* * *

Not so distantly, Madara was bitching about something else.

Tobirama blinked weariness from his eyes and winced at his general condition. He was not dead, but gods, his body screamed like a tailed beast had trampled him. Hell, two of them even.

The sound of a crackling fire reached him, along with the sweet aroma of grilled fish. It had been days, if not weeks since he had the time to eat a proper meal. Soft grass tickled his ear as he turned his head to the side.

“Oh, good. You’re alive.” Madara said dryly as he moved to sit next to him.

Tobirama stared warily, best not make any sudden movements, he decided. Not that he really could, at least at the moment. The world was just slightly blurry around the edges, not to mention how his leg throbbed. He licked his dry lips to speak but his throat allowed only a pained cough.

“Drink this.” Madara instructed, helping him sit up.

He rolled his eyes at Tobirama’s suspicious look at the offered water.

“It’s regular water, not poisoned, drugged or anything. That would defeat the purpose of me saving your life you know.” Madara sighed.

Still dubious but not willing to argue about it (bone-deep weariness doesn’t wash away with one sleep after all), Tobirama drank the offered water. It did wonders for his parched throat.

“Thank you.” He said quietly.

The entire experience was surreal and Tobirama could say that he never even suspected he would be stuck at another awkward dinner with Madara. Especially after Madara was supposed to be dead.

At least the fish was good. Fish tended not to betray him that way.

Madara’s chakra still flickered strangely to Tobirama’s senses. It had changed, somehow. He couldn’t quite name how.

Later. He could do that later.

The most surreal were the looks Madara subtly gave him. Hatred and malice he could handle. Those were familiar.

Yet Madara looked at him like he had forgotten all the reasons he had to completely hate Tobirama. And … Tobirama didn’t know what to do with that.

"Your chakra feels different." he said at last.

"Does it?" Madara hummed. "Makes sense." he muttered and refused to elaborate at Tobirama’s questioning look. “New moon cycle, new me.” Madara said after a moment.

“I’ll pretend that even made sense.” Tobirama said dryly. “What do you want from me, Madara?” he asked in a tired tone.

Madara stared at him unblinkingly. What did he want? After Zetsu? After Kaguya? Peace? A piece of mind? To completely wreck Kaguya and Zetsu’s plans? That last one sounded just about right.

Madara did not like at all the way Tobirama was staring at him. It was… jarring, to see someone who’s usual displayed emotion was annoyance or cool disdain to look so exhausted and resigned. It made something inside him protest and riot and he scowled deeply. This would not stand. He had not been treated to even one witty insult since his arrival! Right now punching someone sounded like a great idea.

“Errands.” He said finally, blinking and looking away at the fire.

“What?” Tobirama’s question was three shades of surprise, incredulousness and bafflement.

“I’m going to run some errands, while everyone is busy fighting each other,” Madara turned to him again, an actual plan crystalizing in his head, people with targets ready for the abovementioned punching, “and you’re going to help me.”

Tobirama blinked owlishly at him and opened his mouth again but Madara continued.

“I was going to return you to Konoha but now,” he narrowed his eyes, “I don’t trust you to actually stay there instead of going on a different suicidal mission.”

“It was an ambush! Not a suicidal mission!” Tobirama protested and glared, or tried to at least, he was still too exhausted to glare properly. Madara ignored him with ease.

“This way I can be sure you are getting the damn rest you need. And less people will be poking around the places I plan to visit.” Madara said nodding himself and pleased with his plan. “And if those Kumo wonders actually manage to kill that damn leech, then- oh.” He frowned as he remembered that they were definitely going to find the Madara from this universe there. “Never mind. Whatever they do, it’s their problem.” He dismissed it all with a wave of his hand.

Tobirama had the feeling that he was going to regret asking but he did anyway. This was completely surreal. He was probably hallucinating all of this as he bled to death somewhere. Or it was completely real.

Neither of these thoughts seemed comforting _or_ remotely acceptable.

“What kind of ‘errands’ did you have in mind?” he said, as he gingerly lowered himself back on the ground with Madara’s help. He was picking the slightly more acceptable thought. He ignored what it said for his sanity.

“Oh this and that, some light sabotage, a few assassinations…” Madara shrugged, “We have to make sure our village comes on top in this war.” He said with a vicious smile.

Tobirama stared at him in bewilderment. He wasn’t lying. This, oh, this sounded like it would be some hell of errands. Even if he agreed with him.

“Our village?” Tobirama raised an eyebrow, focusing on that, laser fast. “Last I saw you, your opinion was vastly different.” He considered his words carefully but Madara only snorted.

“Unfortunate food poisoning. Don’t eat moon cakes after midnight, it’s bad for the health.” He advised cryptically, making no sense whatsoever. At least to Tobirama. “As I told you when you were bleeding out. You love the village. You sure as hell did more about it than both Hashirama and I combined. It’s high time I did something about it too. It was _my_ dream too. Many moons ago.”

There was determination, conviction and regret mixed in his voice, along with the sharp undercurrents of bitterness and spite. Tobirama really wanted to know what exactly the moon had to do with this. He was repeating it far too often for it to be just a random pun.

“Where’s our first stop?” he asked. It was the only thing he could do. (Since he was essentially kidnapped and very injured. A great combination really.) He could not let Madara run around unaccounted for. He could play along. For now.

And if his treacherous heart beat just a touch happier, well, it would be all that harder [if] when he inevitably gets his hopes up only to receive a knife in the back.

“For you? Sleep and recovery.” Madara’s tone booked no argument.

And, despite his surprise, Tobirama wanted nothing more than to argue that he was rested but his limbs were heavy and the grass tickling his neck so soft.

"Sleep now, Senju." Madara mumbled as he covered him with a cloak.

Exhaustion dragging him back, he did.

* * *

He woke in brief flashes later.

Madara taking out a Kumo squad, fire scorching everything.

Madara touching his forehead and swearing.

Travelling through a forest that was too thin to be in fire country, face buried in soft black hair.

And finally, he woke in a bed.

The taste of ashes and bitter herbs on his tongue The ceiling was only slightly blurry and spinning. Madara's chakra was wrapped around him again. Careful, hovering. Was he even aware he was doing that, he thought bleary.

The man in question replaced the compress on his forehead and squinted at him.

"Awake or still delirious?" He asked quietly.

Infection? Tobirama tried to ask but coughed instead.

"Some sort of slow acting poison." Madara explained after he gave Tobirama water and his coughing fit had subsided. "The Kumo squad must have coated their weapons with it." He added sourly. If anything he looked rather miffed he hadn’t noticed it while healing Tobirama. Which was ridiculous as Madara had little medical training and the Kumo squad was definitely a very elite one.

"How long was I out?" He slurred.

"Close to three days." Madara said with a grimace. "Feel any better?"

"Like I was trampled by another tailed beast." Tobirama groaned humorously. "Where are we?" Tobirama looked around, careful not to move too much.

“Oh just some house,” Madara waved a hand dismissively, "Wait here, I'll bring you soup." He said, as if Tobirama would even want to move from the bed in the next few days. He was aware that he often pushed his limits but he was also aware that his condition was not at all good after battling with a poison, on top of his already aching wounds.

He still scowled at Madara for the remark and the other gave him a little smirk. Wait. Had he teased him on purpose?

"How did you even survive?" Tobirama couldn’t resist asking much later.

Madara gave no indication that he heard him and continued idly sharpening a kunai. A few minutes later while Tobirama wrestled with his impatience to ask again, while being perfectly aware that the other was just being obstinate on purpose, Madara turned to him. There was an odd considering look on his face and Tobirama bated his breath.

"The moon." Madara said with a scowl and shrugged.

As overdramatic as always. But he was not lying, Tobirama could sense that, yet the same time the answer was so absurd that he only blinked at him.

"I buried you with my own hands." He protested.

That brought a wry smile to Madara's face.

"I'm sure you did." Madara nodded, tone patronizing.

There was a sudden sound from the door. Tobirama tensed, fingers itching for a weapon. He could sense no one but Madara around. He shot the other a look but he looked unconcerned. A Madara opened the door from the outside. Tobirama narrowed his eyes at him but Madara gave him a cheeky wave and smirk. The Madara close to him disappeared in smoke.

"That’s my jutsu." Tobirama said crossly the hint of a pout on his face.

"Damn useful too." the real Madara agreed, entering the room.

Tobirama crossed his arms in front of his chest and scowled. Madara tossed him a scroll. Tobirama caught it, eyeing it warily.

"I know what our first errand would be." Madara proclaimed smugly and sat down on the chair previously occupied by his shadow clone.

* * *

The first errand, Tobirama mused while being carried on Madara's back, was to intercept and pretty much obliterate an enemy squad near the border of hot spring country.

"I can feel you pouting. Stop that." Madara said crossly.

"I can walk and run just fine." Tobirama shot back just as crossly.

"As if. Not without re-opening your wounds." Madara snorted and took a sharp turn to avoid a tree. "Settle down and enjoy the ride. After we're done there’s a nice discrete hot spring place i know." He added "And both of us would certainly benefit from it."

Tobirama stared at the back of his head with raised eyebrows.

"Do we have the time for that?" He asked incredulously.

"After all the bullshit? Oh we definitely have the time for this." Madara said cryptically. “Make it, if we have to.”

Tobirama huffed in annoyance. Would it kill him to be less cryptic? Probably.

His mind returned to the other matter he found completely baffling and irritating.

His armor had been all but completely destroyed in the battle with the Gold and Silver brothers. At some point while healing and nursing him back to relative health, Madara had removed and subsequently repaired it.

Now, Tobirama was glad to have back on a small measure of defense while in the presence of someone like Madara. And especially in Madara's presence. But did he have to add pieces of his Uchiha armor to his? And he did not, not for one second, believe that the smith's forge in the abandoned village did not have other metal.

His armor looked almost new, so he had to give it to Madara, he was good at that. It was blue-red. Senju crest on one shoulder.

_Uchiha_ crest on the other.

He scowled at it again. It was practical and he understood that, however he was also certain his own original piece there hadn’t been that badly damaged. He did voice as such during the original conversation when he unsealed the armor from the scroll Madara threw at him. Madara insisted that he had lost far too much blood to be sure of that.

"I can feel you scowling about the armor. Stop that." Madara warned as he jumped down from the trees to a small clearing.

He set Tobirama down and the other determinately tried not to wobble. He guided him to lean on a tree and sit down.

"Surely you know what this implies?" Tobirama asked face pinched from the pain in his leg.

"That your previous armor was destroyed in a fight and I so helpfully repaired it with pieces of my spare armor?" Madara said innocently.

Tobirama made an angry sound and give him an irate look. He was being annoying on purpose.

"Well you're not going anywhere near a battle with the way it was." Madara smirked unrepentantly. "We both know you'd rather have armor on, and besides, keeping Susano’o activated draws attention. It would be best not to. Until we return to the village at least." he said, while unsealing his signature gunbai and when no doubt would be using all his signature moves.

Tobirama seriously contemplated strangling him. He shook his head. Too much effort. He was still weak from the wounds and as much as it grated that slowed him down.

Madara would just dodge and then mock him for missing.

He might even go through with the treat to tie him up and sling him over his shoulder. Tobirama would rather that not happen. At all.

“What are we waiting for?” he asked, taking the time to gingerly massage his aching foot. He hated to admit it but it still wasn’t in proper walking condition.

“Enemy, coming from the north-west.” Madara said shortly, red eyes focused in the same direction.

Tobirama turned to stare too. He closed his eyes and reached out to sense them. Only to be met with the thick cloak of Madara’s chakra still around him. He was startled how easy it was for him to forget about it.

“If you would stop choking me with your chakra that would be appreciated.” He said through gritted teeth. The chakra wasn’t choking though. It was just there – hovering, cloaking. Protective? Did that even apply? Probably not.

“Hn?” Madara stared at him blankly for a second before his eyes widened and abruptly Tobirama’s sight was no longer clouded and he could sense himself, Madara, the enemy squad and-

“Konoha squad moving towards them.” Tobirama said immediately and Madara swore.

“There goes my ambush plan. Idiots. Don’t intercept them!” Madara scowled at the battle in the distance.

“I can get us there. One of our nin has my hirashin mark for emergencies.” Tobirama said, getting up carefully.

Madara eyed him, expression closed off.

“Can you transport more than yourself.” He started to ask but Tobirama cut him off with a scowl.

“Of course I can.” He glared.

“Do you have the chakra to do so NOW?” Madara glared right back and Tobirama nodded. “Take us there then. And stay close.” He ordered.

* * *

Inuzuka Emi was very surprised to see her not-so-dead Hokage appear before her eyes along with one Uchiha Madara.

“What happened to subtlety?” Tobirama snapped after Madara threw a huge fireball at the enemy squad.

“Must have gone up in flames.” Madara shrugged, unconcerned, and threw the chain of his gunbai through the fire, catching one of the shinobi and breaking his neck.

Tobirama almost rolled his eyes but now was not the time. Instead he threw a few kunai at the nearest shinobi, activating the seal on them when they dodged.

Inuzuka Emi and her Akimichi and Aburame teammates watched on as they proceeded to obliterate the enemy. They had every intention of joining the fray again, however the Nidaime signaled at them to stay put and away. And given the destructive jutsu released seconds after that was a very good idea. Not only did it catch a good number of the squad but a good portion of the land too.

It was both exciting and absolutely terrifying to be in the presence of shinobi titans like Uchiha Madara and Senju Tobirama. Especially since both of them operated on an overkill principle.

Inuzuka Emi wrinkled her nose. That was far too much burning flesh for her liking. Not that the large amounts of water the Nidaime threw around helped with the matter. Speaking of, she narrowed her eyes at him, observing. A low whine near her knees alerted her that her four-legged partner Cachou had noticed as well.

The Nidaime was favoring his left leg and his throwing aim was just the slightest bit strange but devastating none the less. Emi was impressed that he capable of judging just how an injured arm would affect it and adjust it accordingly. She had no doubts it was him, her nose did not lie and she had already checked for a genjutsu the moment they had appeared. Both of them were there in the flesh and had taken over the battle her team had unknowingly walked into. It was slightly jarring, seeing that they were both supposedly dead. Emi narrowed her eyes. The Nidaime showed signs of severe exhaustion and wounds hindering him. That would explain the way he stuck close to the Uchiha’s side throughout the battle.

In all honesty? The battle took less than three minutes since they arrived on the scene. Seeing the total defeat of the squad, one attempted to escape. Tobirama was not about to allow that to happen so he gave chase before Madara could notice, appearing in front of the shinobi to deliver a powerful kick. Unfortunately with his injured leg. Still that was enough for him to slice at the enemy’s throat with the kunai in his hand. Also unfortunately the enemy held a kunai which he managed to embed in Tobirama’s arm, while he gurgled his last breath.

Tobirama swayed back with a hiss, two different waves of pain coursing through him. And damn it. Those limbs were already injured!

Madara caught him before he could lose his footing entirely. He was swearing up a storm and Tobirama jerked back into his hold when he saw black flames consume the dead shinobi.

“Are you insane” he hissed, craning his neck to look at Madara and flinching when he saw the intricate Mankekyo pattern in the other’s eyes.

“No. The moon is insane.” Madara scowled and put out the flames lest the rest of the forest caught them.

Tobirama resisted the urge to say that didn’t even make damn sense, again. What was it with the moon puns anyway?

“Either of you a medic?” Madara demanded reappearing near the Konoha team.

“I am.” Inuzuka Emi stepped forward.

“Give me a hand with that stubborn idiot.” Madara ordered as he carefully laid Tobirama on the ground. “Damn it Senju, healing was Hashirama’s forte!” he snapped in reply to Tobirama’s huff of indignation.

“Hokage-sama, we’re all happy to see you alive. But how? We got reports that-” Inuzuka Emi began but Tobirama waved off her question with his un-injured arm.

“Long story, just go with what Madara says.” He said with a sigh.

“Less conversation and more healing,” Madara scowled as he worked on his leg, “I’m already far too invested to let the idiot die. And I’m definitely not using the services of the other "medic" i know.” He said hotly.

Inuzuka Emi quickly set to work on the most immediate wound – the one in the arm. She leaned closer under the pretense of removing the kunai, which she could do with no problem from where she was.

“Nidaime-sama, are you kidnapped?” she whispered to Tobirama.

“He’s not.” Madara answered instead.

“I guess I’m not.” Tobirama said in deadpan voice. “But if I was, this is the most bizarre kidnapping ever.” He continued annoyed.

“We're doing some errands. You'll receive your hokage soon enough.” Madara said, then threw a look at the idle Konoha shinobi. “Don’t you have things to do?” he scolded, waving a hand at the general direction of the battle scene.

The bare remnants of a battle scene. The Akimichi and Aburame quickly looked at the Hokage who dismissed them with a nod. They had no idea what exactly to do about that, so covert observation it was. Neither of them were stupid enough to actually get into a fight with Madara Uchiha but information was never amiss. The Nidaime did not seem worried. In fact, he seemed mostly annoyed.

"It would be best if you kept what you know to yourself." Madara said warningly, picking Tobirama up after he’d been patched up. Rather well too, a medic of this caliber was still rare.

"Uchiha-sama" Inuzuka Emi began.

"Yes, yes, tell the brat playing at Hokage for the moment but I’d rather our enemies are not aware of the fact that the actual Hokage is still alive." Madara continued. "Not until we're had the time to make sure the war ends with us as winners." Under her suspicious gaze he felt the need to clarify "By us I mean Konoha."

Inuzuka Emi still stared at him warily. It didn’t seem like a good idea to leave the Hokage in Uchiha Madara's care. Not at all.

Her canine partner let out a low growl and she put a hand on his mane.

Madara narrowed his eyes at them.

"Stop giving them that look and tell them you're fine." He scolded Tobirama. “Or would be if you stopped doing stupid shit like reopening your wounds.” He amended.

"Absolutely do not engage in fight with Uchiha Madara. This is an order." Tobirama said sharply.

"Hokage-sama-" Inuzuna Emi was not at all happy with that decision.

"I am not letting you die for me." He said quieter. "We will return soon enough."

"And people have the gall to call me overdramatic." Madara scoffed.

“You are.” Tobirama said flatly.

"Look. I'll return your Hokage all safe and sound after we're done with the errands." He told the wary Inuzuka.

He hightailed out of there before she could respond. He had the vague feeling he was going to regret that but that was a problem for future him.

* * *

Madara made good on that one promise though. After they were a safe distance away from the Konoha team.

Tobirama fumed silently, slung over Madara’s shoulder, hands tied behind his back. He would have used the hirashin to escape but the Uchiha had to get clever and slap a chakra restricting seal on him. How did he even had one of those.

“You’re being overdramatic.” Madara idly pointed out, running fast through the forest.

Tobirama’s eyes shot open in anger. He? He was being overdramatic. Oh that was just great. First chance. First chance he had, he was going to strangle Madara with his own hair for the insolence.

“I can and will skin you, you bastard.” He hissed in outrage. Not only for the comment but also for the whole being tied up too.

“And that’s the other reason you’re tied up.” Madara said dryly. “I just don’t want a kunai in the back, you know.” He said mock cheerfully.

“Forget your back I'll start with your face!!” Tobirama snarled.

“Why, Senju, do you like my face?” Madara innocently asked and Tobirama could swear he was laughing at him. He made a silent vow to claw at Madara’s admittedly attractive face when he had the chance. And he was never admitting the ‘attractive’ part out loud though. Ever.

“Have you considered not tying me up at all so you're not trying to lug dead-weight across the country?” Tobirama said instead.

“You? Dead-weight?” He made a derisive sound.“You weight absolutely nothing.” Madara scoffed.

“Why’d you quiet down, Senju?” Madara asked after a while.

“I’m trying not to barf on you.” He said through gritted teeth. It wasn’t often that he got motion sickness but the last few days had been trying.

“That all?” Madara hummed and landed on a branch. He adjusted his grip on Tobirama so he was holding him in bridal carry now and took off again.

* * *

It was only when they got near the little town that Madara set Tobirama down, cutting his bonds and removing the seal.

"It really was just to keep you from stabbing me." He shrugged while Tobirama rubbed at his wrists and eyed him suspiciously. "Now stay still." He ordered and tapped Tobirama's forehead with a finger, sharighan spinning.

Avoiding the red gaze was by now second nature, yet Tobirama barely restrained a flinch as Madara's chakra washed over him. The genjutsu layer did not trap him. It was meant for other people he realized as it wrapped around him, altering his appearance. Madara nodded satisfied and then altered his own appearance.

"Next stop – those hot springs." Madara announced with a self-satisfied expression, linking his arm with Tobirama's at the elbow. "To help with the leg and to keep you from getting pesky ideas like running off." Madara smirked at the offended noise but Tobirama allowed to be steered with minimal grumbling, as the leg still bothered him. The healer had said it needed rest.

Their first stop was actually a food stall that Tobirama eyed for a moment too long. Delicious smells surrounded it, making their mouths water. It was just about time for dinner too. It was only logical that they should stop there, Madara reasoned. Can’t go to the hot springs on an empty stomach after all.

Madara proceeded to order a few things from the menu after Tobirama only chose one. Tobirama studiously ignored any mutterings about how he was far too damn skinny.

Not for the first or last time, Madara lamented the lack of easy fixes for all the bullshit he had pulled. It was so goddamn annoying. It did help that he had a realistic goal in mind now. A simple one too. None of that ‘Eye of the moon’ idiocy Zetsu had campaigned for. But a simpler one – “Go home.” (And a few other things as well but for those later.)

Sure, one Tobirama Senju didn’t really fit into that plan, despite what his annoying little brother thought. Speaking of, somewhere Izuna was definitely giving him thumbs up. He was currently in a restaurant. With Tobirama Senju. Izuna was laughing himself sick.

Madara resolved to set something on fire for him(self). He (Madara) would appreciate it.

"You are so frustrating to deal with." Tobirama said flatly. They weren’t making small talk, not really. It was more that Madara was teasing him with information he _shouldn’t_ by all right have. He was going to tighten the security to the Pure lands and back when they returned to the village.

"Thank you." Madara sipped his tea and ordered another type of rice cakes that Tobirama liked. Or so he vaguely recalled from hearing Hashirama whine about it.

“That wasn’t a compliment.” Tobirama pointed out, stabbing a piece of vegetable with slightly more force that necessary.

“It’s so refreshing to have my good abilities pointed out.” Madara said, as if he hadn’t spoken.

Tobirama had to remind himself that killing Madara at the moment just wasn’t an option. He settled for sighing in aggravation.

Tobirama, surprisingly, found himself rather looking forward to thosehot springs. He only had to remind himself a few times that Madara already had plenty of opportunities to kill him and hadn’t, had actively worked to restore his health, and if he was going to kill him, Tobirama had the advantage in a hot spring anyway. Plus there was no overdramatic way to kill him there. Not that the damn Uchiha wouldn’t be able to find one but the point was he wasn’t going to.

The hot water worked wonders for his sore muscles and his eyes fluttered closed before he could help it. He did, however, prefer to keep Madara in his line of sight, so he cracked open an eye, just in case.

Madara was a few feet away, eyes closed tightly and face already red from the heat of the water.

“Figures war would make even the civilians scatter.” Madara hummed absently.

Tobirama privately agreed. This conflict, this war, it was bigger than what people were used to. At least when it was clans that lived in fire country they didn’t actively destroy civilian settlements. That would be extremely bad for the reputation of the clan.

Given the warm welcome the two had received and the almost devoid of people hot springs, war had definitely hurt their business.

“It needs to be stopped.” Tobirama said out loud, making Madara idly look at him.

“I’m not surprised you’d say that.” Then quieter, “Wish I had figured that out the first time.”

Tobirama filed that as another possible moon joke, even if it made something in his chest lighter.

“What ifs only-“

“Drag you down, I know.” Madara sighed. “Finally figured that one out.” He said after a pause, words soaked in bitterness. Tobirama only nodded in acknowledgement.

It was… good… that Madara had found peace with that. With himself.

Thoughts rose from their last conversation that delved into such matters. He also seemed to have found peace with Tobirama as well.

Something which Tobirama himself found astonishing and hard to believe in. And it wasn’t like he had much choice in the matter for now. His senses could detect no lies but only time would show the truth about Madara.

“I could still be poisoned and hallucinating.” Tobirama said absently. Madara made a face at him which he ignored. “That’s merely the only logical explanation to how we ended up here.” He continued.

“We walked here and you know that.” Madara grumbled, taken aback at the strange way this conversation was going. “Well, I walked here.” He amended. “You were carried.”

“What better explanation for you being here, looking as good as you always did?” Tobirama sighed and closed his eyes.

The water really was doing wonders for his muscles. He couldn’t remember being this relaxed in… well. That’s best left unsaid, if it had been that long. He stretched languidly, feeling his joints pop.

He ignored Madara spluttering and choking out some words he couldn’t quite parse.

Soon there was silence again.

Madara had decided that the best answer was to hide himself in the pool, water up to his nose and most of his hair covering him like a shield.

Tobirama’s lips twitched in amusement.

Music drifted from somewhere.

_I wished I could_

_Reach the gods_

_And now I sit here laughing _

_At my greatest idea_

Madara laughed. Tobirama curiously opened one eye to look.

“This is ridiculous.” The Uchiha said lips twisted up in a smile, hesitantly, as if he didn’t quite remember how those were supposed to be. He wasn’t the only one.

_Such heavy shame_

_Don’t even look at me_

_I've got a new idea _

_But you’re so far away from it_

“This was a brilliant idea.” Madara declared. “The hot springs, I mean.” He clarified quickly at Tobirama’s questioning look. He couldn’t resist adding. “Well, that, and the one that led me back to you.” He said eyes sparkling with something fond and private.

_Warning, it’s dangerous_

_I won’t lie to you_

_Careful, when crossing the line_

_with me, _ _it’s volatile,_

_Warning, careful, you attract me,_

_And maybe, maybe more than that_

Perhaps this should have warranted some worry. But this was the most sincere Tobirama had ever seen Madara.

Unmuddled by grief.

He was not quite smiling, the lines on his face had eased just a bit. This was something secret, Tobirama decided. A memory to keep among other carefully hoarded memories.

_Such heavy passion,_

_You need some navigation?_

_I've got a new idea,_

_Hope you’ll join in too_

_I demand a different law and_

_You in a different season_

The seasons were changing. 

“Now, I hate to talk about work while we’re nicely relaxing-“

“A complete lie.” Tobirama huffed.

“But I think for our next errand, we should check on the Stone side of things.” Madara continued uninterrupted. “You know, shake up things. Bring in a new season?” A smirk on his face from the really long suffering sigh Tobirama made.

“Why not? Their last delegation was annoying and I still have a bone to pick with them.” Tobirama nodded after mulling it over. Madara snorted.

“Heading their way then.” Madara hummed. “Right after this very, very deserved relax.” He said as he stretched, conscious of the way Tobirama’s gaze was on him. He pretended not to notice it.

“Can’t say I disagree.” Tobirama breathed out and leaned back more comfortably.

When Madara looked over at Tobirama again, he was fast asleep. It had been a long day.

He was well aware that Tobirama feared him on some level. It was only sensible, after all. And Tobirama was a sensible, practical man down to his bone marrow. Madara planned to use that to his advantage to keep him from aggravating wounds. He wouldn’t try anything, not in a vulnerable position like that. He glanced at the dozing man in his arms. Tobirama was very, very lucky Madara was different than he remembered. Otherwise he would be royally screwed. His past self wouldn’t have cared one bit about his health and Madara banished that thought with a scowl.

"New moon cycle, new me. Also screw the moon." He grumbled under his breath. Tobirama made a face as if sensing he made another moon pun and Madara smirked.

Now, where were those rooms again? His back was going to appreciate a proper bed and he was sure Tobirama’s would too.

Later, as he listened to Tobirama’s steady breathing and wondered why he felt so awake, his mind circled back to Tobirama’s question. How had they ended here indeed.

Well, Madara knew full well how he ended up here. And the person responsible for that.

"Go get that Senju, aniki!" Izuna had said cheerfully before booting him, literally booting out of the Pure lands and into the void. Damn brat.

Impossible to argue with when he set his mind to something. And he even admitted that!

Unbelievable.

"You two better not come back too soon!" Izuna had yelled after him as he was falling and falling, senses screaming at him to stop the fall.

So. Madara better do that, lest he have to deal with whatever retribution Izuna had the time to think of.

Brat. Madara hoped he embarrassed himself in front of all the strong pretty people he was crushing on in the afterlife. He'd make sure of that even! At some point in the very distant future. Possibly.

You know.

* * *

The next few places they visited were enemy outposts, where Madara showed that he didn’t have to use his super-special eyes to start a nice healthy fire. He did, however, use a couple of doton to completely trash the place.

"No one managed to leave. Also you're a huge hypocrite." Tobirama said sourly.

"Excuse. They won’t be able to tell who wrecked the place. For all they know it was Kumo or something. What with the doton." Madara scowled right back.

“Kumo are not the ones using doton, usually. They favor ration, if you recall.” Tobirama sensibly pointed out, not that Madara cared for such things except when it suited him.

“Well, by the time they try to figure that out, they’re going to have other problems.” Madara insisted.

Tobirama rolled his eyes but decided it was better to choose his battles. This one wasn’t really worth it.

* * *

It was after one such fire and run, that Tobirama felt an achingly familiar chakra moving closer. They had made camp near a cluster of trees, one of which Tobirama was leaning on. Alone.

"Sensei, I’m here to rescue you!" Kagami Uchiha whispered as he appeared from behind a tree.

"Nice try Madara, I knew you would st-" Tobirama scoffed tiredly. Of course it had been a matter of time, why did he even-

"But I’m not? I’m Kagami, I swear.” Kagami raised his hands to defend himself. “Are you alright sensei? I’m so glad- we’re all so glad you’re alive!” Kagami exclaimed, relief flooding his features.

Tobirama still eyed him with suspicion. It certainly felt and looked like Kagami. Logic insisted that it _was_ him. But then again it could be Madara under an illusion. Even though he could sense his chakra elsewhere, while Kagami’s was here. Knowing that he and the others had escaped safely was a massive stone off his shoulders.

“Shouldn’t you be in the village?” he said, instead of other questions he wanted to ask.

“We heard reports of you and Madara-sama in battle so I told Saru I’m going to investigate." Kagami hurriedly explained, wringing his hands nervously.

Tobirama frowned at him. Things must have been really stressful for him to revert to that old habit.

"So you've investigated." Madara smoothly joined the conversation, as if he had been right here the entire time. Tobirama resolved to punch him in the face if he had used a shadow clone again. He was privately impressed he hadn’t sensed him but the annoyance greatly overshadowed that.

Kagami startled. Badly. Kunai in his hand, sharingan spinning, he placed himself between the two.

“Cute. And completely unnecessary, little minion.” Madara huffed and crossed his arms.

"How, but-but you were going in the opposite direction!" Kagami protested. He had been incredibly careful when sneaking on them, waiting for a good opportunity. And Madara walking off in the forest in search of something for dinner, leaving Tobirama to rest (and grumble) was the opportunity he could not pass.

"Uh huh." Madara nodded. "How did you find us?" He raised an eyebrow and considered him.

Followed the wave of destruction, Kagami did not say.

"Oh, you know, just used my incredible skills." He said instead.

"Great. Your ‘incredible skills’ will be of great use to this party. You shall use them to prevent your idiot sensei from re-opening his wounds. Or getting new ones. He's supposed to be recovering." Madara said in a tone that booked no argument. He ignored the dirty look Tobirama threw him.

"But I- and you- what?" Kagami still tried.

"You came here with the grand and noble and utterly ridiculous notion to 'recue' the Senju, no doubt." Madara waved his arm, gesturing at the annoyed Senju in question. "Well, since you're missing a few important points, I’ll graciously fill you in.” he said with dramatic flair. “We're doing errands now, while everyone and their enemies are busy trying to kill each other."

Kagami blinked owlishly at him, wondering what did errands even mean. He looked back at Tobirama who shrugged. Kagami hoped it wasn’t the errands genin ran, though all the wreckage showed that it shouldn’t be. Madara-shisou was mean enough to send him on genin errands. He could. And would. Kagami was sure of that.

“We are. He saved me from the Gold and Silver brothers. And healed me.” Tobirama explained stiffly.

"You know, that makes sense but still doesn’t explain how you detected me." Kagami said thoughtfully. It didn’t actually made sense, any of this, given that Madara was last seen dead but he was going to ask Tobirama later. There was something different about him, Kagami just couldn’t catch what it was. Given time, perhaps he could. But he rather doubted he’d stay.

"One: Uchiha. Two: as your shishou I had enough near heart attacks to be able to pick out your signature from miles away. Three: the idiot doesn’t need rescuing he’s just being overdramatic." Madara explained.

Tobirama made an offended noise at that, which Madara naturally ignored. It wasn’t good to encourage his dramatic tendencies. No he didn’t choke on the hypocrisy of that. If he did, then he’d have died years ago. A lot earlier than originally.

Madara stared expectantly at Kagami. Kagami backtracked the entire conversation quickly.

“I guess I’m joining your party then?” Kagami said unsure.

“You say that like it’s not the only option you have.” Madara said mildly.

“Ok, I understand what Emi meant.” Kagami muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“I said I’m totally joining your party, Madara-shishou.” Kagami repeated.

Madara narrowed his eyes at him but nodded.

“That’s what I thought, brat.” He said and beckoned him. “Come with me, you’re helping me catch dinner, while I update you on the situation.”

Kagami considered this. He was good but in no way near Madara’s level, if the man decided to dispose of him. He risked a glance at Tobirama and saw him on his feet, face pale but determined.

“Absolutely not.” Tobirama glared at Madara. “Myself? I don’t care for. I was practically dead when you found me. But you will in no way harm Kagami or I swear I will bury you with my hands again.” Tobirama growled. “Whatever your plan, your end goal, this is between you and me. And you will not drag Kagami into it.”

The silence stretched. It seemed to last decades even. Or at least that’s how it seemed to Kagami.

“You should have showed that family protection streak more often. It might have convinced Izuna.” Madara said finally. He looked at Kagami. “Pretend I told you a moon joke. It’s a lot more efficient this way.” He said with a scowl.

“Oh! I love moon jokes, I got one right now! Ok, so, why did the moon cross the road?” Kagami said, trying to diffuse the tension.

Tobirama did not respond, still glaring at Madara, just waiting for him to try anything.

“To run from all the people out for her blood?” Madara suggested, crossing his arms.

Kagami blinked at him, taken aback.

“Uh, to get to the other quarters?” Kagami finished his joke and crept closer to Tobirama. Clearly Madara had lost some of his sense. And marbles. Tobirama had not batted an eye at the moon joke so this was probably a regular occurrence.

Kagami had a strange feeling about all of this but was determined to figure it out.

* * *

It was, of course, quite difficult to talk about Madara with him being present there. He was slippery enough to know that they would discuss him. Or just sensible. Probably that.

Different attempts at subtle communication were shot down with annoyance and more moon puns. They still shared conspiracy theories about him when able, in hushed tones and sometimes speaking only with eyes, so it's possible it was just Kagami's imagination telling him that Madara had wanted to use the moon for some sort of terrible plan to rule the world. He wasn't going to mention this to either of them, just in case. Either way, both of them agreed that there was something very different about Madara. And they were going to find out what.

Kagami did not want to know how Madara knew what the most recent Anbu signs were but he, just like Tobirama had already decided, was going to tighten security when they got back. He suspected why Madara kept them running around like headless chicken all the time. Can’t make a good escape plan when you’re too busy planning something else. Kagami was also sure that Madara was having great fun with all of this.

The damn sadist.

Then of course, were the errands. For a very loose definition of ‘errands’.

* * *

“I can be subtle by moonlight.”

“It’s the middle of the day, Uchiha.”

“Then keep quiet so they don’t hear us, obviously.”

And the flirting, did Kagami mention the flirting?

Loud explosion shook the ground.

“That’s Kagami.”

“Good minion, so useful. Look at the size of that fire.”

“I’ll admit that it is impressive. Kagami is an excellent student. But you are a hypocrite.”

* * *

“That went rather well.” Kagami said looking at Tobirama. When Tobirama made a face which clearly meant it had not, he looked at Madara instead. If anything Madara would agree with him to annoy Tobirama.

But Madara was too busy reading a scroll. Probably gotten from one of the higher ups around the base.

“What’s that?” Tobirama moved to take the scroll from him but Madara incinerated it before he could.

“Nothing we haven’t taken care of already.” Madara said ignoring the way Tobirama narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Information leaks. They had to take care of that. Well. _He_ was going to take care of it. “We already set fire to the place. Let’s go catch the one that escaped.” He said instead.

His companions agreed, even if Tobirama still eyed him warily.

He wasn’t about to admit his involvement in this. Not until he’d dismantled everything. Destroyed every back-up plan he knew about. And then some.

* * *

Turns out it was rather hard to fight a war when someone kept sabotaging your camps and dispatching your shinobi.

Reluctantly Konoha’s enemies backed off. Clashes slowing down to a halt.

The seeds of doubt Madara planted with the attacks were ready for reaping.

Nobody was admitting to destroying anything they haven’t. Not that they would, usually.

Which, perhaps, wasn’t a good basis for peace. Even if it was one of Madara’s goals. Long-term.

He was no longer foolish enough to believe that could happen short-term.

* * *

“Who was this Zetsu you sent the Gold and Silver brothers after?” Tobirama asked idly one night. They’d been on the road a few weeks by then. And though still wary of Madara, he had conceded that some of his goals (that he knew of) were ones he shared.

“Hopefully no longer our problem.” Madara grunted, side-stepping the question.

“And if that’s not the case?” Tobirama pressed, once again intrigued. He had been too… distracted, when Madara mentioned Zetsu before and he hadn’t seen fit to tell Tobirama more.

“Then he’s earned a katon or dozen in the face.” Madara remained tight-lipped. He preferred not to have to explain everything to either of them. “Look. Let’s just say that I loathe him.” He said shortly. “And any hate I felt towards _you_ is now directed to him.” He continued, startling himself and the other two. That was just a bit more than he wanted to say. Or acknowledge.

Kagami boggled at him, soaking up the new information like a sponge, while Tobirama, ever composed, merely stared at him, eyes barely widening in disbelief.

“Madara.” Tobirama said after a moment. “Are you sure you’re alright?” That was a sensible question. It was.

Madara snorted and looked away to cover up his slip up. Even if it was true.

Especially since it was true.

“Never better.” He declared. “Once I root out the cause of that old food poisoning for good, I’ll be even better.” He said, glancing at Tobirama.

“Is this all a joke to you?” Tobirama said incredulous. “Are you really blaming your defection of the village on a case of food poisoning?” There was only so much disbelief Tobirama could suspend. Only so much. Yet Madara was always testing his limits. And patience.

“I just happened to have a plant related food poisoning that may or may not have been caused by Zetsu.” Madara said haughtily.

Tobirama just continued staring at him but Madara could see him trying to piece the information together. He was missing a few key points and Madara was sure he’d try to get answers again. For now though, Tobirama would have to be content with what he got.

“I see…” Tobirama hummed thoughtfully. And it did not make sense, what he’d learned but Madara was telling the truth. Or what he believed as truth. Who was this Zetsu anyway? How had he poisoned Madara, when it was Tobirama who had killed Izuna in battle?

“Do you?” Madara remarked idly.

“I would see more if you actually explained anything.” Tobirama said lightly. “Would it kill you to talk like a normal person?” he asked rhetorically.

Madara and Kagami stared at him in offence. Right. Uchiha drama. Tobirama rolled his eyes and let the matter drop. He had new and old information to consider and glances at Madara to steal.

* * *

As with all things in his life, this too goes to hell.

"Madara Uchiha." A familiar voice groused after he dodged a sword swipe.

Great. Those thunderheads had found him again. At least he could feel Tobirama's chakra all the way to the other side of the settlement, along with Kagami.

Madara narrowed his eyes. All the better.

"What, no greeting for us?" The other joined as well, red chakra coating his arm as he slashed at Madara.

Madara let out a big katon. Under its cover he threw shuriken with wire, just narrowly missing the brothers. He smirked and blocked the next attack with his gunbai. Redirecting the attack to the second brother, he threw himself at the first, detaching the sickle from its hiding place. Ducking out of the way, he let the brothers crash into each other, angry roars filling the air.

Buffoons.

A fire dragon crashed into them immediately, adding the smell of broiled to the mix. Two more shuriken narrowly missed.

"Brother, our prey doesn’t want to talk." Kinkaku whined.

"And after all the effort we went through to kill the other one." Ginkaku added.

Other one? Ah. Other him. Well. Not like Madara wouldn’t have done the same. Spare the poor bastard some grief. And a lot of craziness. He almost shuddered at the reminder of how Izuna mocked him for the... chest enhancement.

_"You got Hashirama's face on your damn tit!" Izuna had yelled and shook him by the collar._

So it wasn’t one of Madara's proudest moments.

Reminiscing didn’t get him out of battle though, so he feigned a dodge to the left and slammed his gunbai in Kinkaku, the sickle making a long gash on Ginkaku's arm on the other side.

He was about to taunt them a second time but decided to be spiteful just a bit longer. After all. He didn’t do as low life told him to.

A kick fell one brother while the other got a face full of another katon.

After so long of stealth he was very pleased to be able to let loose, property damage be damned. (He had actually been making a lot of property damage the past weeks, a dry voice, sounding suspiciously like Tobirama, reminded him.)

Kinkaku's hair was on fire and he howled with rage, charging at Madara again.

Pathetic.

Madara would grin but their stupid fast healing was pissing him off.

Power swelled within him. He blinked. Purple eyes narrowed at the semi-jinchuuriki.

"The other one had the same eyes." Ginkaku smirked. "What makes you think yours are stronger?"

"I’m not chained to a tree in a depression cave, for starters." said Madara conversationally. First words in a conversation he didn’t care to have.

He sidestepped and slammed the butt of the gunbai into Kinakaku's arm, making him drop the sword and draw back.

"He was an easy kill, unlike the other one." Kinkaku hissed. "We find it very curious…"

"Very curious as well, how much he resembled you." finished Ginkaku.

"Unfortunate. Can't have been as good looking as me." Madara deadpanned.

“If you're here and Madara Uchiha, then who was there, also claiming to be Madara Uchiha?” Kinkaku asked in mock surprise.

Madara was dodging before the lightning jutsu connected with where he was, only to curse and try to deflect the second one with his fan. He was only partly successful and the brothers crowed in amusement.

Fuck that noise.

He let another katon swell up, shuriken following, and. How predictable.

Now the final touches.

"So you killed me from the cave." He began, "How thrilling. What an achievement." he mocked. "He was a mad fool. I will get justice for him, the moment my flames engulf and consume Zetsu." Madara said casually.

"Brother, he’s making fun of us!"

"Not for long." The other said darkly.

Not for long indeed.

Madara dodged again, hitting back with his gunbai, ignoring the crunch of bones.

"Did you kill Zetsu?" He asked suddenly, deflecting yet another lightning attack. He hid a smirk. Their legendary weapons couldn’t even touch him.

"He was a slime, we'll give you that." Kinkaku complained with a bloodthirsty smile.

"Quite the interesting mokuton too." Ginkaku added. “Didn’t know anyone but the Leaf Senju could do that.”

“Wasn’t there a statue of him there?” Kinkaku wondered aloud, sword poised and narrowly missing Madara yet again.

Madara made a non-committal sound. 

"Did you kill him?" He demanded again, patience wearing thin. He didn’t have the time for their dramatics. He had a rather busy schedule after all. Wars did not stop themselves.

"Someone's impatient." Kinkaku mocked as he took a swipe at him again. “Maybe after we’re done with you, we’ll look for that pesky Senju again. Lives like a cat, you know?” Kinkaku’s lips formed a gruesome grin.

“That’s two times he’s evaded us now, we don’t like leaving a work unfinished, you know.” Ginkaku added.

Madara stayed in place a fraction too long, chakra flashing hot and fast and _angry_.

A sword pierced his chest from behind.

Ginkaku crowed in triumph only to immediately rage as Madara disappeared in smoke and ninja wire wrapped around him and Kinkaku, trapping them together. Stinging pain in his shoulder made him snarl as a black rod was driven through it, connecting it to his brother. Another in the other one and as they trashed like angry fish, their chakra slipping out of their reach.

Madara was done playing.

An elbow to the neck (out of pettiness) brought them both down and Madara drove another rod through their chests to keep them there.

He wasn’t particularly impressed with the display. A simple genjutsu had done a great job.

“Oh, I do know, I too loathe leaving a job unfinished.” Madara nodded sagely, “But you’re only touching Tobirama over my dead body, so mark that down as _never_. I plan on living long.” He said, his voice hard and menacing. 

He gave them a moment for that to sink in, circling their fallen forms slowly.

"Now, did you kill the leech or not?" He repeated. They snarled at him. "Guess not." He shrugged emotionlessly, making another receiver and driving it at random. This was just pure pettiness and not in any way a retaliation about how that had almost sieved Tobirama.

Really.

(Who was he kidding. It was.)

"It was a simple task. Really." Madara dusted off his hands and got up from his crouch. "One would think two brutes, overpowered as you are, would handle it." He continued, dark anger coloring his tone. He stuck a rod in the leg that tried to trip him. Pathetic.

"Follow the directions. Kill the target. Get the cave and me as collateral." he explained with patience he did not feel. "All of this - a good plan to rid me of one problem." He gestured in exasperation. "One single problem. Just one." he emphasized. "I can’t believe i have to do everything myself around here" he scowled.

"We still would have come after you." One of them snarled.

"You're but a minor annoyance." Madara scoffed. "How disappointing." He stuck a final rod and tugged sharply at the ninja wire.

"Amateratsu."

Madara turned away in disgust when the screams died out. He surveyed the destruction around him with a sense of petty satisfaction.

There was little chance Tobirama hadn’t noticed at least some of this so he thought of a semi-convincing story and a moon pun to appease and tease him.

"Still got a leech to kill. Best start looking. I haven’t got another 60 years." Madara scowled. "Well. I do. I just want to spend them doing more pleasant things." Madara sighed wistfully.

He smirked slightly when he thought of a good pun, eyes glancing to the side- meeting a familiar red gaze.

Oh no.

How much had he heard?

"How much did you hear?" He demanded as he took a step towards Tobirama.

"An amount that made sense." Tobirama offered. He stood his ground, not stepping back under Madara's intense stare. He knew that would be the wrong thing to do.

Madara's head jerked to the side, noticing Kagami as well. He gave his shishou a small wave as he gaped at the still burning black flames of Amateratsu. There was regular fire adoration in his eyes, plus a vicious glint.

Tobirama glanced at him as well.

"Are you really burning that in your memory? Turn those off." Tobirama reprimanded sternly.

Kagami whined but obligingly turned his sharingan off.

"But shishou set them on fire, that’s so cool!" He pouted as he continued staring.

Tobirama barely resisted the urge to bury his face in his palms.

"Ignore their moon rotten accusations and words." Madara recovered enough to try a cover story. He needed some damage control, like, yesterday. “Or better yet, just forget you saw anything.” It was worth a shot.

Tobirama opened his mouth to say something. Closed it and tilted his head in consideration.

"What is the relation between the moon and this Zetsu?" He said finally.

Madara blinked at him.

"What makes you think there’s any connection?" He said slowly, mind still buffering on the fact that neither Tobirama nor Kagami were running for the hills after the display they had witnessed. He was pretty sure his Rinnengan was still active too.

Tobirama scowled at him and rolled his eyes. Madara felt his face try to heat up. Right. One too many moon jokes. He hated the moon.

It was not surprising Tobirama picked up on it. He hadn’t been subtle. So he said as much.

Tobirama just continued to stare at him expectantly, as if Madara would say more on the topic, which he would not. Sensing that, Tobirama sighed and took a step towards Madara.

"Talking to you is like pulling teeth, honestly." He complained lightly, teasingly.

Madara didn’t... didn’t know what to do, he didn’t understand why Tobirama wasn’t running for the hills but was instead getting closer. Madara raised a hand slowly, palm up to placate.

"That’s the bird calming gesture, why is shishou- oh." Kagami mumbled under his breath, Tobirama listened to him with one ear as he got closer to Madara. "Sensei, he doesn’t get it." Kagami said urgently making Tobirama stop and glance at him briefly before looking at Madara again.

"He can’t not get it." He reasoned, "It was his idea. Your suggestion." the last part was directed at Madara with a piercing look.

A blink. Two. Eye twitch.

"Minion, what the fuck did you call the gesture?"

"But you use it on the falcons when they’re restless!" Kagami defended.

Madara scowled at him.

Tobirama considered his options. He took another step in Madara's direction getting his attention again.

"Stop avoiding the question!" Tobirama scowled as well.

"You haven’t asked anything!" Madara snapped back, nervousness like electricity in his veins.

Tobirama raised a judgmental eyebrow.

Madara refused to budge, like the stubborn ass he was.

"I’m going to go be busy over there, where I can’t hear you." Kagami squeaked out, suddenly figuring out something and booked it to hide.

"I have asked many questions and you know that." Tobirama was in no way going to let the matter drop. Nor was he letting Madara out stubborn him. (That was 1. Rude. 2. Illegal. As the hokage he declared it so.)

"Well maybe they were all stupid questions." Madara bluffed.

"After all we did the past weeks I can’t believe you're saying that." Tobirama huffed.

"There are many things you wouldn’t believe" Madara muttered under his breath.

"I suppose it’s fitting that we met them again." Tobirama continued, ignoring Madara's words. He'd already learned to suspend disbelief, hadn’t Madara paid attention.

"I didn’t expect our positions to be reversed however." He nodded at Madara who stared at him in a mix of confusion and apprehension.

"What’s reversed about it?" He asked suspiciously.

"Hmm, yes, you haven’t got even a scratch." Tobirama mused, thinking back on his own past injuries. And before Madara could bristle that of course not, he added “Which is all the better actually.”

Madara wondered if that is how Tobirama felt when he was having fun confusing him. He brushed aside the fact that this was probably karma.

"Unless you decide to run off on me, which will be greatly disappointing. and majorly annoying because I will have to chase you." Tobirama said, lips twisting into a small pout.

Madara blinked owlishly at him, why would he run off? Didn’t it make sense for Tobirama to run off instead?

"Why would I?" Tobirama parroted back and Madara realized he'd spoken out loud.

Having no better answer Madara just vaguely gestured at the still burning Amateratsu behind him. (He'd better put it out soon it could spread.)

"You could do that before." Tobirama pointed out reasonably. Madara glared at him. “Well, most of it.” Tobirama shrugged. “It’s been years since I last saw you before this anyway.”

"So you're just going to ignore this all? That doesn’t sound like you." He said flatly.

"Well, I have no doubt that you are in fact you. Sure, you may be different than we remember." Tobirama said, bringing up the true topic of this conversation again so fast Madara almost got whiplash. “But you came back to us.”

"You look like Madara-shishou, talk like him, fight like him, and emote like him." Kagami joined the conversation, adding his own valuable observations to it. "So you must be him." he concluded.

"Indeed." Tobirama agreed.

"Even if you have some cool new moves that you have to teach me because that was really cool shishou!" Kagami rambled excitedly. Tobirama smiled fondly at him.

"Oh." Madara said. It would seem that his worries had been a bit unfounded.

“As I said earlier, this was your idea. Your suggestion. And I agreed.” Tobirama said, taking another step towards him. “I laid there dying, with you of all people saving my life and speaking about the village.” A beat. “And I agreed.” He said softly.

“So you did.” Madara watched him get closer.

“There’s no way we’re letting you do the last errand alone.” He said confidently. “Not after everything.”

Tobirama took a final step closer and wow, Madara had been close to him a lot these few weeks, he had grown to like it. Madara watched as Tobirama took his still outstretched hand and placed it on the repaired part of his armor.

Specifically on the Uchiha crest he had put there. His mark.

"This was your idea." Tobirama said. “And by the gods, it must be the best one yet." His lips formed a small smile and Madara was immensely glad the rinnengan also saved memories. He wanted this forever.

Actually, wait, scratch that, he wanted whatever he was feeling now, as Tobirama's lips were on his, hands wrapped around his shoulders, fingers tangled in his hair.

It was so much better than the stupid moon genjutsu could ever. Fuck that.

A warm breath ghosted his lips.

"Please don’t think about the moon while we're kissing." Tobirama requested and pulled him for another kiss before he could drop a pun.

Madara rested his forehead against Tobirama’s, thumb stroking a marked cheek.

"What do you say we visit that hot spring again after we're done with things?" He whispered breathlessly.

Tobirama smiled.

"Keep those good ideas coming." He huffed a laugh and Madara chuckled as well.

* * *

_[An epilogue of sorts]_

"You hate Tobirama." Hashirama pointed out, reasonably.

"I did." Izuna nodded, a small self-satisfied smirk on his face.

"You don’t hate Tobirama anymore?" Hashirama said slowly, confusion evident in his voice.

"Nope." Izuna's smirk widened.

"That's, ah, unexpected?" Hashirama offered. "Would you mind elaborating?"

"Nope."

Hashirama gave him a beseeching look.

"This turned out rather well, don’t you think?" Izuna said instead, watching events unfold in the land of the living. His brother was always entertaining when he was trying to talk to someone he liked.

"It did turn out better than expected." Hashirama agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKVkIFMYvgE  
I translated bits of this song for the hot springs scene. It suited Madara


End file.
